There are many reasons for decrease in libido. If you’re a woman, a decrease in your libido is most likely linked to biological or hormonal issues. GREAT..right? If you are a man and under the age of 30, situational, environmental, and or biological things could be to blame. Male or female, here are the top reasons for a drop in libido.
When I was little, I dreamed of having more freedom. The thought of doing what I wanted when I wanted sounded fantastic. My mother always told me to enjoy my childhood because being an adult brings responsibility and stress. Words I had yet not come to understand! Between our jobs, finances, kids, significant others, family, and ourselves…it’s amazing that we have anything left to give! Come bedtime our physical and emotional energy is drained. Sex? NOT SO MUCH! Finding ways to alleviate our every day stresses can help with having low labido. Taking the time to de-stress, at the end of the day, is crucial. A few helpful things that I do are take a bath and journal about what went right in my day. Those two things bring me to a better state of mind and open to some intimacy. Discovery Health has an extensive article on “How to De-stress Your Life.” Stress is one of the many reasons for decrease in libido.
We are creatures of habit. I will attest to that. We are celebrating 10 years of marriage in a few months. People, that’s an entire decade of one partner! I know that the majority of you could trump that number. Regardless, year after year of the same partner and the same sex can lead to boredom in the bedroom. Maybe you even schedule “sex time.” For some this may work, but for others it screams BOREDOM! Yes, you can have sexual intercourse on a Tuesday instead of the weekend. If you feel this may be a reason for your decrease in libido, SPICE IT UP! You may find your spice on this website starting with an aphrodisiac dinner. Put the time and energy in to spice it up and you may find yourself thinking about and even anticipating sex throughout your day. Boredom is one of the many reasons for decrease in libido.
Is there such a thing as “makeup sex?” Conflict, especially unresolved conflict, can lead to negative feelings and resentment. Do you want to give or receive pleasure from someone you resent? Learning to deal and resolve conflict will translate into more and better sex. If you find yourself in a vicious cycle of fighting with your significant other, seek professional help. Most are under the assumption that couples therapy is only for couples who’s relationships are on the brink of breaking apart. This is not true! Most couples wait until it’s too late! If you have been having consistent conflict for longer than a year or two, it’s time to have a third party intervene. It can be the best thing for your emotional and sexual health! Conflict is one of the many reasons for decrease in libido.
4. Body Image
Why couldn’t we appreciate our “high school” bodies? Everything on the body was in its proper place. Most body image issues begin around 15 and 16 years old. The good new is; most of our body image issues are all in our head. “But what about the extra 20 pounds I’m carrying, that’s not in my head!” One day, during an Oprah Winfrey episode, I heard a very encouraging statement on TV. A guest of the show, who is an expert on this topic, stated that men are blind in bed. Do I need to repeat that statement? MEN ARE BLIND IN BED!!! Halleluiah! They don’t see that roll or less than perfect boobs, that we see. They are in awe of having a naked beautiful woman that is going to perform their favorite act. It’s true. “Men are blind,” has become my mantra on those days that I feel less than.
We are bombarded with airbrushed perfection. I’ve birthed 2 kids and so my body does not look like a magazine model. I’ve come to terms with that one. I do, though, try to make myself feel sexy. This is so important when working on increasing your libido. What can you do to help you feel sexier? I have a few tricks, that I use, to make me feel sexy. They are:exercise, eat healthier, buy a new outfit, shave my legs, apply makeup etc. I also eat a light dinner because nobody feels sexy being bloated on Mexican food! The small things can help our libido in a big way!
There is good news and bad news when it comes to menopause. The good news is, not all women will experience a drop in libido. The bad news, those that do usually experience depression, insomnia, and night sweats. Low libido does not lead to those; low libido is usually accompanied by all of the above. However, if your sex drive takes a nose dive, during menopause, seek medical help. It is not something that you have to live with. It’s not part of the menopause course. There is a great menopause article that gives more of an in depth synopsis of the above paragraph. Menopause is one of the many reasons for decrease in libido.
I have allergies. Bad ones. Sometimes my horrific allergies wake me in the night and make me stumble to find an antihistamine in our medicine cabinet. This would happen repeatedly for about 6 months out of the year. I did not make a connection with this time of the year and my decreased libido until one day I ran across an article about antihistamines and libido. Antihistamines make it easier to breathe by drying up your nasal passages. However, allergy medications can also dry up other important parts of your body. Believe it or not, we have to have a level of moistness to keep us thinking or remembering about that particular body part. The moral of the story? Double check the medication you are currently taking or thinking about taking. Birth control and antidepressants are a few types of medication that can decrease libido. Talk with your general health practitioner, they can help change doses or medications all together. Medication is one of the many reasons for decrease in libido.
7. Alcohol and Drugs
Besides some of the obvious reasons for decrease in libido, this one surprised me. I mean; drugs are an obvious one. Most drugs make you numb all over so that pretty much eliminates your sexual desire. Alcohol really surprised me! After a glass of wine, I’m feeling pretty good! My inhibitions seem to disappear. I don’t concentrate on that extra roll of love hanging on my side. My anxiety level has decreased ten fold. I’m feeling good and ready to unwind with my hubby! You would think that a glass of wine is the perfect prescription for low libido.
Unfortunately, a glass of wine may be good for your heart, but it kills your sex drive! Wine slows all blood flow, within the body, way down. If your blood is not flowing, you may have a difficult time reaching the BIG O! That goes for men and women. Men may have a difficult time getting and staying aroused. That is a libido killer in and of itself. If you find yourself reaching for a glass or two every night, it may be time to limit your consumption to see what happens in the bedroom!
8. Pregnancy and Breastfeeding
I have a theory. So far it’s 100% accurate! Unless one of my readers begs to differ. I have 2 beautiful rambunctious boys. Both pregnancies, I didn’t want my husband to touch me with a ten foot pole! My friends, who have birthed girls, stated just the opposite. Maybe I’m on to something. Regardless, pregnancy can be a very hormonal time that can lead to a decrease in sex drive!
Once the baby has arrived, you suddenly feel different. Your body is not a sexual object anymore. Your breasts are for feeding your little one. You may be feeling tired and grumpy. Not to mention the numerous emotional and hormonal changes that are taking place. SEX? Ummmm…not so much. Take heart, you are not alone. Your drive will return along with everything else! Pregnancy and breastfeeding is one of the many reasons for decrease in libido.
Sex should not hurt. If it does, seek medical attention. There may be something going on, physically, that is preventing you from enjoying sex. If all things are ruled out, seek help from a mental health professional. Some time we have to get over mental hurdles in order to enjoy anything sexual.
How happy are you? Believe it or not, this plays a major role in our libido. Happier people think about sex more. That is a proven statistic. Take baby steps towards increasing your happiness. Happiness is one of the many reasons for decrease in libido.
There they are. My top 10 reasons for decrease in libido. It’s my hope that you find yourself somewhere in 1-10. Knowing the problem is the beginning to finding a remedy. Hugs!